So, school has already made me tired. I'm excited to be learning what I am, but I'm not enjoying this strict schedule thing. Sure, over the summer I worked, but now I'm taking five classes and working 24-32 hours and that leaves no real time for anything but homework. I have been attempting to hang out for a while, but then I end up staying up too late finishing it all up. I let myself get too into the whole summer thing this time....or maybe just the non school thing. idk . I'll figure it out eventually. I think it takes, what, ten days to form a habit? I'm pretty sure thats it. So, hopefully, in a week or two, everything will be as it always was. I feel like I should be writing something purposeful or at least objective and important....but alas, I am not. I will probably waste my night away reading, listening to music, pondering about life and yes, even watching the Wizards of Waverly Place movie that premieres tonight....cus thats how I roll...
cheers peoples
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
"But I'll learn to get by on little victories"
So, I haven't written all summer....and now, I only have a few hours left of mine. I start my senior year at College of Charleston tomorrow morning. Its scary as crap. Now that I think about it its kind of interesting. My first class of college was a tuesday morning at 9:25 (psychology 101) and now I'm beginning this last year the same way... except this time its Modern British Lit....a class I have been waiting to take for seriously ever. I am pretty excited about the classes I am taking this semester, but at the same time it seems seriously odd that I am in fact going back. For some reason, after this summer I feel very distanced from school. It almost feels like I have already shed that portion of my life. I don't know why. I guess its just all that has happened, along with the fact that I have become a great deal more independent. Then again, I did kind of feel like this when I went back to school last semester. I think I commented on that feeling.
So, how am I getting ready to begin the new school year? I'm listening to Matt Nathanson radio (amaaaazing....its on his site), putting off cleaning and getting ready for tomorrow. I was watching Wizards of Waverly Place online (thats right, I'm so lame I've gone looking for Disney shows! Oh well, its a short break from the heaviness of Bones), but now I'm back to Mr. Nathanson. I really wish my fiancé was here to calm me down and force me to be productive, but he won't be off work until midnight. I'll get to see him and then go immediately to sleep....though class tomorrow isn't nearly as early as when I have to open the store....so maybe I will stay up.
I'll have to decide sometime soon what I want to do with my life. I have been thinking about becoming a librarian, but I'm not so sure. I am really loving this idea of watching television and film and writing stuff about it....I don't really mean in the strictly critical way either.....I mean in the full on research applying, meta-whatnot way. I really need to just hone my process and work on actually getting words on the page. I have soooo many thoughts that run through my head all day that I want write down, but I never get around to actually focussing those thoughts into a thesis oriented paper of sorts....or even a novel. I have been working on bits of creative writing my whole life and I haven't gotten any of them really finished....This goes along with my focus. I'm going to be studying a great deal of the contemporary and abstract this semester and hopefully that will help me orient everything. I would love to write a novel in some sort of an experimental form....the marriage of the visual and the textual is amazing... It just requires work....and confidence....That could be my problem....and prob is....I'm not confident that everyone is going to get it/like it/ what not, so I shy away and then I end up so shied away that its not even what I believe in anymore...and therefore it doesn't get to stay....Bah....
I need to stop rambling and actually do something.... I pledge to attempt to be a better student and a more organized student this last year....I pledge to actually start working on things so that I can write my papers to their full potential and not let them shy away to Bs....I pledge to work my thoughts through fully and not let them simmer, even if they will get me an A as is...I pledge to stop just trying to BE and try to actually be what I want. By the time I get married (this time next year ish) I want to have a Novel under way (actually under way and GROWING) and to have seen Mr. Nathanson in concert at least once more....He's so my favorite and seeing him live the other night just proved that to myself even more. I feel for some reason that I have as of late really been figuring out what I'm made of and what drives me...and I really interested to see where that takes me....
Cheers
(the title reference Btw)
So, how am I getting ready to begin the new school year? I'm listening to Matt Nathanson radio (amaaaazing....its on his site), putting off cleaning and getting ready for tomorrow. I was watching Wizards of Waverly Place online (thats right, I'm so lame I've gone looking for Disney shows! Oh well, its a short break from the heaviness of Bones), but now I'm back to Mr. Nathanson. I really wish my fiancé was here to calm me down and force me to be productive, but he won't be off work until midnight. I'll get to see him and then go immediately to sleep....though class tomorrow isn't nearly as early as when I have to open the store....so maybe I will stay up.
I'll have to decide sometime soon what I want to do with my life. I have been thinking about becoming a librarian, but I'm not so sure. I am really loving this idea of watching television and film and writing stuff about it....I don't really mean in the strictly critical way either.....I mean in the full on research applying, meta-whatnot way. I really need to just hone my process and work on actually getting words on the page. I have soooo many thoughts that run through my head all day that I want write down, but I never get around to actually focussing those thoughts into a thesis oriented paper of sorts....or even a novel. I have been working on bits of creative writing my whole life and I haven't gotten any of them really finished....This goes along with my focus. I'm going to be studying a great deal of the contemporary and abstract this semester and hopefully that will help me orient everything. I would love to write a novel in some sort of an experimental form....the marriage of the visual and the textual is amazing... It just requires work....and confidence....That could be my problem....and prob is....I'm not confident that everyone is going to get it/like it/ what not, so I shy away and then I end up so shied away that its not even what I believe in anymore...and therefore it doesn't get to stay....Bah....
I need to stop rambling and actually do something.... I pledge to attempt to be a better student and a more organized student this last year....I pledge to actually start working on things so that I can write my papers to their full potential and not let them shy away to Bs....I pledge to work my thoughts through fully and not let them simmer, even if they will get me an A as is...I pledge to stop just trying to BE and try to actually be what I want. By the time I get married (this time next year ish) I want to have a Novel under way (actually under way and GROWING) and to have seen Mr. Nathanson in concert at least once more....He's so my favorite and seeing him live the other night just proved that to myself even more. I feel for some reason that I have as of late really been figuring out what I'm made of and what drives me...and I really interested to see where that takes me....
Cheers
(the title reference Btw)
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